2025-04-13

Ping from the past

Hit me like a wave. I've concealed her in my memory quietly but once I got that text, it hit me. Hit me high and low. As she resurfaced, it brought me memories from the past. She sent me just a message - simple on the surface but stirred a storm inside me. I didn't expect it but deep inside me I know I have been waiting for it. The weirdest thing is, despite everything, I still want to do anything for her.

How do I feel? Mix of excitement, longing and confusion. Part of me lights up as I talked with her, but another part of me is cautious as it remembers the pain from the betrayal. I can feel the love and excitement from the fact that we will see each other next week. But underneath that pull there is something heavier: the memory of being betrayed. It echoes the past clearly as a voice that I'd never be able to forget - reminding me the sadness, the angriness, the emotional toll and the reasons we broke up.

Why do I feel this way? Because betrayal does not erase love - it complicates it. Part of me wants to make the pain worth it. To turn the sadness and pain into opportunity. To rewrite the ending and turn the betrayal into redemption.

Keeping the past in the past and setting boundaries

I've been thinking a lot since you reached out. Hearing from you brought up a lot of emotions. There's still a part of me that cares, but there's also a part that remembers the pain, the betrayal, and the trust that was broken.

I'm not angry. I'm not trying to rehash the past. But I've worked hard to heal, and I need to protect that progress. If you're reaching out because you genuinely want to talk — with honesty and clarity — I'm open to that.

But if this is just a moment of nostalgia or uncertainty, I need to step back. I can't reopen wounds that I've fought to close. I wish you well, truly. But I also wish peace for myself.